The decision to post this shot is brought to you courtesy of stubbing my little toe against my bed, about ten minutes ago, and splitting open the nail, causing bleeding all over my bedroom, kitchen and bathroom before I realised what was going on.

It’s okay though, I used to work with nurses and knew what to do; I’m all patched up with gauze and surgical tape.

As long as it doesn’t fall off in the middle of the night while haemorrhaging, everything will be okay.